[This "moment" first was published three years ago]
My wife, Sheila, and I recently confronted a mild but persistent pattern of conflict in our marriage. At first we tried to think our way out of the problem, but then we saw it as a call to rely more on God in prayer. The conflict has now led us to come together in prayer more often which means our marriage has grown that much stronger.
While there are a few people who seem to thrive on conflict, most of us would rather avoid it. We are attracted to things pleasant and we look forward to happy interactions. Dread is the emotion that most of us feel in anticipation of conflict. Some of you are probably feeling it right now.
In several of our Mind Change Moments we have looked at how challenges can really become opportunities. Conflicts would certainly fit into this category, and we will be well served if we can change our minds about conflict.
I don’t go looking for conflicts in my marriage, with my family or in any other relationship. I believe as far as it depends on me I should be at peace with everyone, just as Scripture teaches.
However, when conflicts do occur, I need to see them as opportunities—opportunities to learn something about myself, to learn something about another person…or an occasion for a relationship to go much deeper. Most of all, I need to see the opportunity to depend on God and see him work in difficulty.
Next time you dread a conflict, try changing the way you view it.
Hebrews 12:14
Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
Ephesians 4:1-6, 29-32
Ahhh, conflicts! I do hate having them, but this is a great reminder to resolve them differently than the world does. It's always great when resolving a conflict can bring us closer to someone instead of letting it rip us apart.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this gentle reminder. In our marriage (a place where many conflicts can flourish) we are guilty of trying to "think our way out", instead of prayerfully seeking God's discipline to help us truly overcome! But that's a much better result, than our current "optimistic approach" - that may provide a temporary solution, but not a resolution! May we seek God's face in prayer and petition to help truly resolve persistent conflicts! Peace and love to all!
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