by Sheila Jones from her new book My Bucket of Sand
The other day I was looking at a picture of my husband taken about five years ago in a park. My eyes were drawn to the background where I saw a child wearing blue jeans and a red shirt. He was running—frozen in the posture of pumped arms and legs.
Though he was moving quickly, though he had assumed many different poses within a few seconds’ time, in this photograph he will always be in this position—trapped—captured—no escape—freeze-framed.
Though he will change clothes many times in his life, in this photograph he will always wear blue jeans and a red shirt—trapped—captured—no escape—freeze-framed.
With each other, we can freeze-frame a hurtful action, a senseless statement, a stupid idea. Then forever in our minds, this is who that person is. He or she is characterized by the snapshot of that moment.
And yet there are so many more moments in a person’s life that define them fully. Millions of frames in the moving picture of their grace-filled, imperfect life—times of great sacrifice and love, times of noble deeds and insightful comments, times of deep faith and strong conviction.
I don’t want to be freeze-framed in anyone’s mind. And I don’t want to freeze-frame anyone else. Sometimes we don’t even know we have done it—that we have judged someone on the basis of frozen evidence.
I am so grateful that God does not freeze-frame me when I am being prideful, or when I am being selfish or jealous. Through the grace of Jesus, he lets the picture keep moving and forgives me as I go. I am never trapped or captured in my sin.
Let’s not freeze-frame each other. Let’s start the action and let people move on in our minds—let them continue to grow, mature, change…and be forgiven.
11/29/09
11/22/09
My Wife's Bucket
When you hear the title “My Wife’s Bucket,” you might guess that this is about all the things I have done wrong in our marriage, but you would be wrong. No, Sheila’s new book, My Bucket of Sand, has just been released, and I want to weigh in and say a few things.
Over the years I have heard Sheila share many of these stories, thoughts, and analogies in different contexts and have seen their impact on so many people. I cannot count the times when I was leading a group using my carefully prepared thoughts, when Sheila would think of an analogy or an image to share with the people to illustrate the point. Then in the discussion that would follow, what I would hear more than anything would be, “Like Sheila said.” Sometimes it’s a little hard on the ego, but that is what we want—to die to our pride. Right? God has given her a gift of taking the everyday things that happen to us and using them to illustrate vital spiritual truths.
If you read My Bucket of Sand, I have a feeling you will go away thinking this is more a bag of jewels. You will find images she gives sticking with you long after you have forgotten a carefully organized sermon. Now, don’t misunderstand me; there is a place for those. Sheila knows Scripture and understands the importance of careful teaching, and does that herself, but this book showcases her ability to bring a vital truth to down to earth and catch it in a memorable image or analogy.
Next week, I want her to sit at this microphone and share with you her short chapter on “Freeze-Frame.” You may never take another picture without thinking about it. So come back after our Thanksgiving weekend in the U.S. and hear one of her special thoughts.
Over the years I have heard Sheila share many of these stories, thoughts, and analogies in different contexts and have seen their impact on so many people. I cannot count the times when I was leading a group using my carefully prepared thoughts, when Sheila would think of an analogy or an image to share with the people to illustrate the point. Then in the discussion that would follow, what I would hear more than anything would be, “Like Sheila said.” Sometimes it’s a little hard on the ego, but that is what we want—to die to our pride. Right? God has given her a gift of taking the everyday things that happen to us and using them to illustrate vital spiritual truths.
If you read My Bucket of Sand, I have a feeling you will go away thinking this is more a bag of jewels. You will find images she gives sticking with you long after you have forgotten a carefully organized sermon. Now, don’t misunderstand me; there is a place for those. Sheila knows Scripture and understands the importance of careful teaching, and does that herself, but this book showcases her ability to bring a vital truth to down to earth and catch it in a memorable image or analogy.
Next week, I want her to sit at this microphone and share with you her short chapter on “Freeze-Frame.” You may never take another picture without thinking about it. So come back after our Thanksgiving weekend in the U.S. and hear one of her special thoughts.
11/15/09
Marriage Calling Heaven
This week our topic has to be marriage. Sheila and I are returning from a weekend, as I write this, where about 75 couples focused on putting more of Jesus into their relationships with each other.
This retreat was not normal fare, but a bit on the unusual side, fitting with the theme, “Lovin’ on the Edge.” At this retreat there were no expert speakers. No one who spoke was even in a paid ministry position.
Those attending heard from seven couples who work regular jobs including that of stay-at-home moms. Five of the couples have known their marriages at one time outside of Christ before they were disciples. All of them shared how much they needed help and answers before they decided to follow Jesus.
But let me tell you one thing they did not say and one more thing that they did say.
They did not say that after they became Christians it was like they had died and gone to heaven. No, they were all gut-level honest in acknowledging that after their new birth they still had marital challenges. They had times of anger, conflict, defeat, despair and more.
But here is the other thing they all said: They are so thankful to be Christians. But why, if they still have problems? In spite of the challenges they are so thankful to be following Jesus because (1) there is grace sufficient to deal with every failure, (2) there is truth to guide them back on to the path, and (3) there are friends and fellow citizens of God’s kingdom to help them see clearly and sort out their challenges.
In Christ, our marriages don’t always look like they were made in heaven, but there is never is a time when we aren’t getting help from heaven.
Focus Scriptures
Ephes. 5:24-33
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephes. 6:10-18
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
This retreat was not normal fare, but a bit on the unusual side, fitting with the theme, “Lovin’ on the Edge.” At this retreat there were no expert speakers. No one who spoke was even in a paid ministry position.
Those attending heard from seven couples who work regular jobs including that of stay-at-home moms. Five of the couples have known their marriages at one time outside of Christ before they were disciples. All of them shared how much they needed help and answers before they decided to follow Jesus.
But let me tell you one thing they did not say and one more thing that they did say.
They did not say that after they became Christians it was like they had died and gone to heaven. No, they were all gut-level honest in acknowledging that after their new birth they still had marital challenges. They had times of anger, conflict, defeat, despair and more.
But here is the other thing they all said: They are so thankful to be Christians. But why, if they still have problems? In spite of the challenges they are so thankful to be following Jesus because (1) there is grace sufficient to deal with every failure, (2) there is truth to guide them back on to the path, and (3) there are friends and fellow citizens of God’s kingdom to help them see clearly and sort out their challenges.
In Christ, our marriages don’t always look like they were made in heaven, but there is never is a time when we aren’t getting help from heaven.
Focus Scriptures
Ephes. 5:24-33
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephes. 6:10-18
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
11/8/09
For the Purpose of Dying
A day or two ago I had some time to go and sit by a small lake and pray. After years of being able to pray at the ocean or the Merrimack River of Thoreau fame, I had just about given up on finding any water in my Tennessee town. Thanks to the generosity of a local children’s home with a private lake, I now have a spot to watch the sunlight shimmer on water again.
Across the lake, behind a line of bare trees, was another row that still was adorned in their fall colors. Their coats will be gone next week, but that day they blessed me. On the way home I drove down some quiet streets where some of their cousins were past their peak but still on the glorious side.
On one of the last days of another fabulous fall, my mind went back more than forty years. When I was dating a college sophomore who would later become my first wife, and my only wife, she wrote a good number of poems. One my favorites was about the brilliant colors of the fall season. It ended with these lines:
Nature is all ablaze
for the sole purpose of dying,
while man timidly retires
and clings tenaciously to life.
As usual, God’s creation teaches some great lessons and Sheila captured it poignantly. The trees are never more spectacular than when they are dying. And we are never more glorious than when we stop clinging tenaciously to our lives, and become the seed that falls into the ground and dies (John 12:24). Some of us are clinging to something. If we will only die, our life, our marriage or our ministry can be ablaze.
Focus Scripture
John 12:23-28
Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. [24] I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. [25] The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. [26] Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.
[27] "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. [28] Father, glorify your name!"
Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."
Across the lake, behind a line of bare trees, was another row that still was adorned in their fall colors. Their coats will be gone next week, but that day they blessed me. On the way home I drove down some quiet streets where some of their cousins were past their peak but still on the glorious side.
On one of the last days of another fabulous fall, my mind went back more than forty years. When I was dating a college sophomore who would later become my first wife, and my only wife, she wrote a good number of poems. One my favorites was about the brilliant colors of the fall season. It ended with these lines:
Nature is all ablaze
for the sole purpose of dying,
while man timidly retires
and clings tenaciously to life.
As usual, God’s creation teaches some great lessons and Sheila captured it poignantly. The trees are never more spectacular than when they are dying. And we are never more glorious than when we stop clinging tenaciously to our lives, and become the seed that falls into the ground and dies (John 12:24). Some of us are clinging to something. If we will only die, our life, our marriage or our ministry can be ablaze.
Focus Scripture
John 12:23-28
Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. [24] I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. [25] The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. [26] Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.
[27] "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. [28] Father, glorify your name!"
Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."
11/1/09
Advice for the Overwhelmed
Some time ago a person seeking help shared with me feelings he routinely has when under stress. As needs pile up, he usually feels overwhelmed and almost paralyzed by thoughts that there is no way he can handle all that is on his plate. He is a hard-working, industrious person who cares for a lot of people, but inside, in those moments, there is a strong desire to run away and avoid the pressure.
Just in case there are some others of you who have times like this, let me tell you what I suggested.
First, recognize quickly when such feelings start coming on so you can respond appropriately.
Second, right in the middle of all those feelings, stop everything and pray. That was something this person had not been doing, but we should try nothing else until we have laid the facts and the feelings all before God.
Third, make a list of those things that seem so overwhelming. Prioritize them. This helps us look at manageable pieces instead of just feeling this ominous ill-defined cloud over us.
Fourth, talk over a plan with a friend and get his or her perspective. This brings wisdom. Plus not feeling alone makes a big difference.
Finally, break out of the paralysis by beginning to work through your list, praying as you go.
An overwhelming surge of needs can emotionally produce in us a desire to escape. But, by the grace of God, we can choose to see it as an opportunity—an opportunity to turn again to God, an opportunity to be humble and get help from others, an opportunity for our character to mature. That choice is an act of trust that reverses a negative cycle.
Focus Scripture
Psalm 31:10-15
My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
11Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends--
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
Just in case there are some others of you who have times like this, let me tell you what I suggested.
First, recognize quickly when such feelings start coming on so you can respond appropriately.
Second, right in the middle of all those feelings, stop everything and pray. That was something this person had not been doing, but we should try nothing else until we have laid the facts and the feelings all before God.
Third, make a list of those things that seem so overwhelming. Prioritize them. This helps us look at manageable pieces instead of just feeling this ominous ill-defined cloud over us.
Fourth, talk over a plan with a friend and get his or her perspective. This brings wisdom. Plus not feeling alone makes a big difference.
Finally, break out of the paralysis by beginning to work through your list, praying as you go.
An overwhelming surge of needs can emotionally produce in us a desire to escape. But, by the grace of God, we can choose to see it as an opportunity—an opportunity to turn again to God, an opportunity to be humble and get help from others, an opportunity for our character to mature. That choice is an act of trust that reverses a negative cycle.
Focus Scripture
Psalm 31:10-15
My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
11Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends--
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my God."
15My times are in your hands;
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
10/25/09
More on "In His Steps"
Two weeks ago we looked at Peter’s famous statement that we are to follow in Jesus’ steps, and I said then that I wanted to come back to it for another look. In our first comments, we noted that in context the call is to respect, obedience, submission, suffering, and non-retaliation—all in our relationships with the authorities in our lives.
Peter is teaching us the Jesus’ principle that some have called “revolutionary subordination.” This may sound like some oxymoron leading you to just become a doormat for tyrannical and abusive people. In reality, it is living the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven and showing the world how God gets things done.
But while Jesus’ message calls us to a radical submission in most cases, it also calls us to disobedience in others. This is never disobedience to authorities for its own sake. It is a disobedience that grows out of our submission to the reign of God.
We should pay our taxes, show honor to the president, obey everything from the copyright laws to the speed limit, and always with a positive attitude as if we were obeying the Lord (think about that for a while), but when government says to do something opposite of the words of Jesus, we must disobey. In the midst of such a test, this same Peter said in Acts 5, "We must obey God rather than men! (v.29)
Christians will be to some, annoyingly respectful of authorities and laws, but at times regarded as unpatriotic and dangerous, and both of these because they live in a kingdom that is not of this world.
Focus Scriptures
Romans 12:18-13:2
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. [2] Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.
Acts 4:17-20
17But to stop this thing from spreading any further among the people, we must warn these men to speak no longer to anyone in this name." 18Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. 19But Peter and John replied, "Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. 20For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."
Acts 5:27-29
Having brought the apostles, they made them appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. 28 "We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name," he said. "Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man's blood." 29Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than men!
Peter is teaching us the Jesus’ principle that some have called “revolutionary subordination.” This may sound like some oxymoron leading you to just become a doormat for tyrannical and abusive people. In reality, it is living the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven and showing the world how God gets things done.
But while Jesus’ message calls us to a radical submission in most cases, it also calls us to disobedience in others. This is never disobedience to authorities for its own sake. It is a disobedience that grows out of our submission to the reign of God.
We should pay our taxes, show honor to the president, obey everything from the copyright laws to the speed limit, and always with a positive attitude as if we were obeying the Lord (think about that for a while), but when government says to do something opposite of the words of Jesus, we must disobey. In the midst of such a test, this same Peter said in Acts 5, "We must obey God rather than men! (v.29)
Christians will be to some, annoyingly respectful of authorities and laws, but at times regarded as unpatriotic and dangerous, and both of these because they live in a kingdom that is not of this world.
Focus Scriptures
Romans 12:18-13:2
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."
21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. [2] Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.
Acts 4:17-20
17But to stop this thing from spreading any further among the people, we must warn these men to speak no longer to anyone in this name." 18Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. 19But Peter and John replied, "Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. 20For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."
Acts 5:27-29
Having brought the apostles, they made them appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. 28 "We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name," he said. "Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man's blood." 29Peter and the other apostles replied: "We must obey God rather than men!
10/18/09
Forward Thinking
All of us know much more about the past than we do about the future. When it comes to the future, we have plans, but the truth is we don’t know anything about what will happen. We don’t even know if we will be alive tomorrow.
Now when you know a lot about something and have many memories about it, and you know almost nothing about something else, you naturally focus on the things you know, be they good or bad. And likely, most of us even more naturally focus on the “bad”: disappointments and hurtful experiences.
But, God, as he often does, calls us to focus on something we do not naturally focus on. In this case, it is what lies ahead. God calls us to lay those past things aside and press on toward what lies ahead. This is a significant mind change.
But you may say “My problem is that I do focus on the future and worry about it.” Response? God doesn’t just call us to focus on the future, but to do it with the faith that he holds the future. There is one word for this: hope.
So you can focus on the past, hurts and all, and cook up a nasty stew. You can focus on the future with the eyes of an unbeliever and let worry eat you alive. Or you can look to the future with anticipation because of confidence in God.
We must decide how we want to live and choose our view.
Focus Scripture
Isaiah 43:18-19
"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
[19] See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
Philip. 3:13-14
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, [14] I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Now when you know a lot about something and have many memories about it, and you know almost nothing about something else, you naturally focus on the things you know, be they good or bad. And likely, most of us even more naturally focus on the “bad”: disappointments and hurtful experiences.
But, God, as he often does, calls us to focus on something we do not naturally focus on. In this case, it is what lies ahead. God calls us to lay those past things aside and press on toward what lies ahead. This is a significant mind change.
But you may say “My problem is that I do focus on the future and worry about it.” Response? God doesn’t just call us to focus on the future, but to do it with the faith that he holds the future. There is one word for this: hope.
So you can focus on the past, hurts and all, and cook up a nasty stew. You can focus on the future with the eyes of an unbeliever and let worry eat you alive. Or you can look to the future with anticipation because of confidence in God.
We must decide how we want to live and choose our view.
Focus Scripture
Isaiah 43:18-19
"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
[19] See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
Philip. 3:13-14
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, [14] I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
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