This week our topic has to be marriage. Sheila and I are returning from a weekend, as I write this, where about 75 couples focused on putting more of Jesus into their relationships with each other.
This retreat was not normal fare, but a bit on the unusual side, fitting with the theme, “Lovin’ on the Edge.” At this retreat there were no expert speakers. No one who spoke was even in a paid ministry position.
Those attending heard from seven couples who work regular jobs including that of stay-at-home moms. Five of the couples have known their marriages at one time outside of Christ before they were disciples. All of them shared how much they needed help and answers before they decided to follow Jesus.
But let me tell you one thing they did not say and one more thing that they did say.
They did not say that after they became Christians it was like they had died and gone to heaven. No, they were all gut-level honest in acknowledging that after their new birth they still had marital challenges. They had times of anger, conflict, defeat, despair and more.
But here is the other thing they all said: They are so thankful to be Christians. But why, if they still have problems? In spite of the challenges they are so thankful to be following Jesus because (1) there is grace sufficient to deal with every failure, (2) there is truth to guide them back on to the path, and (3) there are friends and fellow citizens of God’s kingdom to help them see clearly and sort out their challenges.
In Christ, our marriages don’t always look like they were made in heaven, but there is never is a time when we aren’t getting help from heaven.
Focus Scriptures
Ephes. 5:24-33
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephes. 6:10-18
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
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Thanks for this encouragement. Now is a time I feel my marriage is on the edge in a not-so-good way - it's going to go one of two ways. I've got to remember these are the defining moments. NOW is the time I need to hold onto faith in God, even when faith in my marriage is gone. It's always encouraging to be reminded that God fixes messes when you are in a mess that you can't possibly fix yourself...
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing. One of the presenters at our retreat called on everyone to completely rid ourselves of any talk of divorce. "Get rid of the D-word," she added. Most of those who shared emphasized focusing not on what is wrong with your spouse or the marriage, but on the changes you can make to please God and with the help of God.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband came back to church after having stopped attending a year after our wedding, I had many unrealistic expectations. In some ways it was heavenly to share a purpose and to be more equally "yoked," but it was also some of the most difficult time in our married life due in large part to my pride and lack of being supportive of his leadership. Unfortunately, he has stopped coming to church again, and I have found it harder to remain hopeful. Thank you for the reminder that we are in a spiritual war I only begin to comprehend. God is the only one who loves my husband more than I do, and He is using both of us to help us get to heaven some day. I am so thankful to be a disciple for the three reasons you mentioned above.
ReplyDeleteThank you