Critique of Complaining

I recently attended a funeral service for a long-time friend of my family. As in other such services, I heard him described as a man who never complained even though he suffered in many ways in the last years of his life.

Each time I have heard that comment about someone living or deceased, I know that this could not be said of me. Until a day I well remember more than thirty years ago, I would say I had become a chronic complainer. On that day I let my wife and then others know that I was repenting of that nasty habit that does nothing good for anyone. That was part of a larger effort to seek a new heart.

Since then I have had lapses, but have not lost my conviction that complaining is something I don’t want in my life. It just doesn’t fit with sharing in the kingdom of God, with having tasted the powers of the age to come, with having a Heavenly Father who promises you his “much more.”

I understand that there are times when it seems helpful to vent our pain and frustration, and I wonder if some of those who are honored for never complaining may have stuffed when they needed to be more open. I am thankful for my wife and brothers who have allowed me those times of catharsis. However, apart from such “exorcisms,” I want the tenor of my life to be one of gratitude and anticipation and not one of complaining. The kingdom calls us to nothing less.

Focus Scriptures

Philippians 2:12-18 (NIV)
12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16as you hold out[c] the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 17But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

Philippians 2:12-18 (NLT)
12 Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. 13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
14 Do everything without complaining and arguing, 15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. 16 Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. 17 But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God,[e] just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. 18 Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.

Ephesians 4:29-32 (New International Version)
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Ephesians 5:4 (New International Version)
4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving